Considering that my summer guilty pleasure America’s Got Talent kicked off its third season a couple of weeks ago, discussing our own hidden talents and secret skills is a great topic for the Babes this week.

I don’t think I have more than a speck of any performing talent.  I’m proud to be a member of Heather Graham’s (The fabulous bestselling author, not the acting ingénue) Slush Pile Players, and have portrayed a winged monkey, a pirate oracle, a wild west bordello madam and a voo doo queen, but I’m not giving up my day job or my writing career to audition for Broadway any life soon.  I also don’t sing particularly well, dance with any tremendous grace, or juggle to save my life. 

Can’t play a mime either because I could never shut up for that long.

Ok, so you won’t see me auditioning for America’s Got Talent this or any other season.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have some other hidden talent or secret skill.  As a matter of fact, I do.  I discovered it quite by chance many, many years ago while in college.

I can kill a fly with a ball point pen. 

Seriously, I’m a veritable dead-eye markswoman.  Lethal to flies with my chosen weapon.

How did this come about? I hear you ask.

Well, I was sitting in a lecture hall in college while a particularly boring professor droned on and on and on.  A fly buzzed around the rows of students and suddenly settled on my knee.

Boredom can be the wellspring for innovation.

With the heel of my hand resting on my leg, behind the insect, I gripped my Bic firmly at the tip, then used the other index finger to draw back the opposite end.  (The plastic has just enough give to bend a little bit without cracking.)  I held my breath, let go of the end and, THWAP!  I nailed the fly with a direct hit and its little, black corpse took off for a final flight.

Thankfully, it did not land in a classmate’s hair.

Sure, it could have been a fluke, but a few weeks later, in yet another boring lecture, another fly infiltrated my territory.

THWAP!  Score:  Mary-2; Flies-0.

Now, don’t think I turned into some fly-killing vigilante.  If they don’t bother me, I don’t attack them.  However, I have, on occasion, demonstrated the technique to others.

Last semester, my older nephew called to share that he’d employed the method during one of his college lectures. 

Good to know the talent branched out on the family tree.